Brewed Beverage of Choice: A cup of green tea…the beer comes later.
For months I have been fighting a sort of lethargy and lost feeling. Not lost like not knowing where I am going or cannot find the place I am headed. But a lost sort of feeling like I am missing something. My spirit did not seem calm at all and was acting out in unusual ways…kind of like what my computer is doing as we speak. It was not something that counseling could help because I have gone through that. It was almost like white noise. So last weekend, on a whim, I decided to find out where the Zen temples, or Zendo, are in the city. Lo and behold! There is one in the ‘hood. So I made a trek last night for my first ever attempt at Zazen, which is Zen Buddhist sitting meditation.
I have to say I was a bit nervous. It does not matter what form of religious temple I go in, I always feel like I will be struck down if I enter. But the other practitioners were quite helpful and taught me the correct way to sit, when to bow, etc. etc. Now almost ten years ago I chided Zen Buddhists in America because I thought it was too easy for Americans to grab hold of. It was the McDonalds of Buddhism. But after reading more about it, I found it would suit me better because it was developed in China during the time when Confucianism had a stronghold on society. Therefore, a lot of Confucianism is seen in most of the Zen or Ch’an Buddhism philosophy.
It was then time to enter the temple and begin the meditation. At the end of the evening, two things popped into my head as I was walking home. The first is that it is amazing what 30 minutes of sitting in complete silence can do. Everyone else was in the same frame of mind so no one is watching and judging. But after about 10 minutes the body and mind gets quiet and all one notices are sounds. At least that is all I noticed. The rain falling on the zendo roof. But I did not think about the rain. I only heard it. Granted we did two 30 minutes zazens and the second one was a lot harder to get into. By that time my mind was revolting.
The second thing is there is nothing more peaceful than sitting in a temple. It is not the activity filled silence of a library. There is too much moving and shuffling and writing and reading going on in the background. And believe me, I love this type of silence. I could live in a library. But the silence of a temple, be it a Buddhist temple, a Catholic church, a Mosque, is quite different. I cannot explain it. I can enter in a Catholic church at a low time of activity and sit there enjoying the quiet-tude surrounding me without having a religious thought. It is quite peaceful.
The whole night calmed my spirit even if it was only for a couple of hours. By the time I was to go to sleep, my mind went back to work and kept me awake for several more hours. Now I can get back to the things I know best…beer, reading, and writing knowing full well I am also feeding a restless spirit determined to get back to the shadows. With that thought in mind, I am off to get a pint and be back to review it for you. Enjoy the rest of the day…
Prost!
the confucian brewer