Brewed Beverage of Choice: A glass of Duvel
Song of the Day: On Fire by Sebadoh
It is rare to hear the words tranquility and confusion in the same sentence, let alone someone finding one in the other. What is also rare is the fact that my mind, for the first time in several months, has been quieted. I wish I could explain how I have gotten to the point of complete tranquility in my state of confusion, but I too do not know how I have made it to this point. Truly, I do not even know what I am confused about.
The past few days have been both exhilerating and yet stressful with the dog having to be taken to the hospital and spending some time with a dear friend who I have not seen in over 15 months. Perhaps my mind has become overloaded with information, with exhuberance, with anger, with melancholy, with whatever-the-hell-can-fit-up-there, that it just flatlined and shut down. Or perhaps with all that it has been taking in over the past month or so, it finally found that zen-like state, that common ground I now call tranquility. Be sure, the mind is still working, fixating, grinding its gears for the greater good. But it seems all too calm.
Years ago I learned that one should not question why or how. Sometimes the why and how should be just left alone and one should just accept. And it has taken me years to re-learn all that. But today I have just accepted the tranquility my confusion has brought. I do not care about how to “cure” it, nor do I care its origins. It simply is.
Prost!
the tranquilly confused confucian brewer