Brewed Beverage of Choice: There is not one for this instance…
O.K. I must get on my soapbox because I have not in a while and I have been touched by a column written by Shaun Powell of New York Newsday. (Thanks to Dan Patrick, who was maligned on his show today, for bringing this column to my attention.)
When I was in grade school growing up in Waterford, Wisconsin, I was called “N- Lips” by many of my class mates, only to find out years later that my brother was also called this. I was too young to really understand what the N-word meant, but I knew it was bad. Several years later my brother and I were riding our bikes home from getting some baseball cards when he told me he had gotten one of my favourite players on a card. I, in turn, called him a son-of-a-bitch. He immediately reprimanded me and told me that by using it I was calling our mother a bitch, which obviously was not my intention. I have never used that phrase again towards another human being…swearing while alone in the brewery…yes…not at another living person.
By the time I had gotten into my senior year in high school I became very intolerant of any kind of discrimination. My dad used the N word in front of me and I immediately got up from my chair, pointed at him, and told him to never use that word in front of me again. Days later he thanked me. I have yet to hear that word from him since. One of my ex-girlfriend’s brothers used that word one too many times and got punched in the stomach…by me. Of course I felt bad…still do because I do not find violence as the key to solving life’s problems. And if you think it is just the N word or bitch that chaps my skin, you are wrong.
My best friend, Charity, was a lesbian and she taught me to never use the word “dyke.” I was not using it at all but had heard people at work using it. If it was not for her, I would not have been able to tell one of my co-workers and friends to not use the word. Of course their response is, “Why not? I hear lesbians use it all the time. Why is it o.k. for them and not us?” I then tell them that it is not o.k. for them to use it, but we are talking about you and I.
Shaun Powell had the courage to write down what I had been thinking for decades. Gay men should not use the word “faggot.” When Eminem said he was not a homophobe for using the same word because he was using it as a put down of other rappers, we as a society should have said, “So what! It is still wrong!” All these words come from ignorance…Faggot, Dyke, Nigger, Chinqs, etc. Gay men using Fag, black men using the N word may take the word’s power away from the dominant society of white males, but it is still a powerful word of dominance and ignorance. It definitely does not make it right.
I agree with Shaun Powell that it is through education that we overcome this malaise. Should Imus have been fired? Sure, but he should also have been made to use his last program to educate his listeners through the use of guests like Mr. Powell. Last night, I was asked if I thought a woman who had used the word faggot to describe John Edwards should be fired. I was not familiar with the woman at the time and kind of danced around the subject. But today I would say she should have been given the same treatment as Imus. The definition, the power of certain words will never change no matter what the context.
Of course I live in a Confucian dream world where everything can be solved through education. Imus’ listeners would still feel the same way if they got to hear people like Shaun Powell. We are always going to have an Imus. There will always be people who try to put someone down to build themselves up. My hope is that through education and simple thought we in society will only hear those others as a babbling brook in the background.
I must get off this box now because it cannot support my weight. Next time I will get an apple crate instead of a soapbox.
Prost!
the confucian brewer
PS: Thanks to all who have educated me, corrected me, and inspired me to stand up and speak.