Brewed Beverage of Choice: It is that time of year…a Litre of Paulaner Oktoberfest
Alright, this is how it happened a couple of weeks ago. At least this is how it happened to my recollection. If you have spoken to “her,” she may tell you a different story. But I was drunk. Well I was drinking. It was not like I was trying to do what it is that I did. I cannot say it was an accident, however. Or that I did not enjoy what I did. So, I suppose I should tell you the gross details of my errant ways.
My friends, Jason and Kim, got married a couple of months ago in Jamaica but most of their friends were not there to witness the blessed event. So they decided to have a grand “reception” at their wonderful home here in Portland. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon in August. I was quite happy because I not only had the day off after working essentially the whole month of July with only 4 or 5 days off, but also because I had Sunday off as well.
All of our friends were there because, after all, Jason is a brewer and Kim is a bartender. Natch, they know everyone in Portland. At least everyone that needs to be known in the brewing community. On tap were a plethera of Roots Organic beers, which Jason is a co-owner. If you come to Portland for beers, be sure to head off to Roots. I guarantee you will leave happy. In the fridge were a wide variety of Belgian brews including one of my favourites, the Duchesse. As I said it was a beautiful afternoon and I was feeling frisky.
After a few beers and some grand conversation with all my friends, my stomach began to rumble. This…well…this is where it gets hazy. All I can say was I had a few Belgians and Roots beers in my system by the time the spread was released on the masses. I am not ashamed for what follows, but I hurt someone, and for that I am sorry. Hell, there is no way around it. I…I…Damn! This is difficult. I had some…some meat.
Let me rephrase that for all of you. I gorged myself on a wonderful spread of wild duck, a pig on a spit, jerk chicken, and salmon. Like I said, I did not mean to do what I did. Nor did I mean to hurt Veggie. We had some really good times together. I gave her most of my twenties and some of my early thirties. But I cannot lie. We were growing apart. Had some rough times and some nasty arguments lately. But like a coward, instead of talking it through with her. Instead of letting her know of my cravings, I just went behind her back a made a fool of myself. Not only a fool, but an idiot for doing in front of some of her friends. What can I say…I am what I eat.
The next day I woke up with not only a hangover, but a terrible feeling of guilt. I called up Veggie and told her what happened. After about 20 minutes of her yelling at me, she told me we were through and that I needed to return all her stuff. I even had to turn in my card. Her friends are still talking to me…Well all of her non-zealotry friends are still talking to me. The zealots are still chucking tofu at me on my way to work. Cannot say I do not deserve it. But some of that tofu is frozen and really hurts.
I wish I could forgive myself for what I did. To be honest it started quite a while ago, but those were just teases and flirtations. So the confucian brewer is no longer a vegetarian. Hell I cannot even be called a pescatarian. Oh well…At least I will not be laughed at at brewer’s dinners any more. If some of you do not wish to speak to me anymore, I understand. Just remember, there are two to make a relationship work. She has some faults too!
Prost!
a remorseful, carnivorous confucian brewer