Brewed Beverage of Choice: Any good pint you would like to drink during a philosophical discussion
It has been a few days now and I believe it is time for the story that lead up to the previous statement about the talents of assholes. It is one of those statements that are clever at the moment, and depending on you outlook, be it as an optimist or a pessimist, remains clever or simply fades into obscurity. As a Mencian Confucianist, I still believe the statement to be true despite its status in the cleverness realm.
The other night a few of my friends and I were sitting around a table, pints in hand, discussing philosophy. If given the choice of discussing philosophy or politics, I will always pick philosophy. Political discussions tend to bore me because rarely does anything useful come from them save rhetoric and cliché. When I do get involved in ‘em I tend to do one of two things: 1. Sit quietly and let the others resolve nothing; or 2. Become an antogonist just to provoke said others. Most of the time it is the latter option. It seems more fun. But on this night I was around friends who felt inclined to discuss useless philosophy…My forte.
Somehow the discussion turned to “assholes.” Every one knows at least one. Some people attract ‘em like flies on manure. Some are attracted to them. Some, like me, have learned to ignore ‘em for the most part. But there is no escaping ‘em. They are there and not going away. Our discussion started because we have a few in the Timbers Army that we try to distance ourselves from because their actions reflect poorly on us as a group. It is somewhere in this lively discussion where I said, “It takes talent to be an asshole. Thankfully, I am talentless.”
That may sound like a very negative statement. Most people would rather think the opposite: the talent lies in being nice and being honest. To be honest I have a hard time coming to terms with my statement. But hear me out. As a follower of Mencius, who believed that humans were inherantly good, the asshole statement holds true. Which sounds more positive, that one has to try to be nice? or that one has to try to be mean? In my opinion, I would like to think that we as humans do not have to try to be nice. It just comes naturally. A person has to try to be an asshole. They have to perfect that ability. That is where the talent lies.
Do not get me wrong. I do not think I am truly talentless. My talents lie elsewhere. I simply have no talent in being an ass. Our discussion ended, openly, on famous baseball player, Leo Durocher’s quote, “Nice guys finish last.” Many of us at the table agreed that we would rather finish last if it meant that we did not have to step on others to place first. We can argue about this quote on a another day and with another brewed beverage.
Prosit!
the talentless confucian brewer